sajia_kabir

 Yesterday I played the melody of Tori Amos's "Spark" on harmonium and worked on parts for "Unfold". Failed to record "Me and My Seashells" successfully. I played some riq. J said that she had a problem playing darbuka that I also have on the riq, making the dums and teks clear. She said we might be hitting our instruments too hard. I want to play with her one day.
I went to zikhr after a long time. I'd been absent due to exhaustion and the gloomy evenings. When I whirled last night I could feel the music like I never have before; usually I'm focusing on my own movement and singing, but last night I was beginning to get lost in the drumming and the singing of others.
I felt peaceful as I came home; often I'm manic after zikhr because I'm overstimulated by the sensations, but last night I felt calm, at peace with my vulnerability. Although it did take some time to fall asleep.
It's snowing this morning here in Coquitlam. The first snow of the season? Despite the dark evenings there's been less rain this fall, compared to the last year.

 Yesterday I did an informational interview with an entrepreneur that was required for an application to a program I hope to enter. I created some demo track frames for some songs that I'm recording. I went to meet my music teacher for a counselling session as part of her social work practicum. We had a good conversation about realistic expectations regarding sex and relationships. She told me to bring the textbooks of my previous teacher to see see how I could accelerate my sangeet studies.
I went to a hatha yoga class at Bonsor and unlike Monday stuck through the 75 minutes. It was an interesting class with a lot of upper body work in the beginning and a lot of focus on alignment. Easy on the surface, full of subtle difficulties beneath.

Seeing white liberals and leftists show their ass in the last four years has not been a good experience for me. "I'm ready to take it to the street."

 I'm finally getting around to setting up my 1970s Singer machine - I have the manual, but I'm looking for a good beginner's book. For techniques I plan to get either either the Reader's Digest book or Alison Smith's The Sewing Book, but I also want something more focused on projects that are manageable for a beginner.

 Even as a teenager in Bangladesh I had a rich tradition of Bengali and Muslim feminism to draw upon, as flawed as it was.White Christian women have to choose between Dawn Eden and Amanda Marcotte. 
The worst thing about Pandagon's sex pox bullshit is that it wasn't always like this; several years ago there was a sensitive conversation about "the 40 year old virgin", a few years later it became all prude shaming, all the time.

I did the arms sections from Sera Solstice's Foundations of Bellydance, Lunar Bellydance and Solar Bellydance, plus the first hipwork section from Foundations. In the last few days I did a full bellydance and a full hiphop class and part of a jazz class and part of a ballet class. I need to take it easy on my knees.

 Why do people blame multiculturalism for Vancouver's social isolation problems and not racism? Unless by "multiculturalism" one means "entitled white people indulging in cultural appropriation to band-aid their wounds", but that's not what they mean by it.

 So I'm starting to write a one woman show about my journey as a dancer. I'm blogging about it at thegirlwhowantedtodance.wordpress.com

 I no longer consider myself a feminist. Not because feminists hate men, but the reverse; because they refuse to hold abusive men who they like accountable. It's always jocks/hipsters/Muslims/Christians/blacks who are abusers or assholes, never our Johnny, never our men, or for that matter our women. 
I consider myself instead an antikyriarchist, not someone who seeks to abolish power, but who seeks to protect the powerless and hold the powerful accountable. 
I would prefer not to share the particular incident that led to this decision, since it involved not myself but a friend of mine. I still believe in reproductive rights, freedom of clothing, etc; and I agree that women face various barriers that men don't. What I'm not ok with are things like the consumerism and personality cult of post-industrial feminism; the "Tim Wise" syndrome which applies as much to upper class women in India and China as it does to upper class white women in the West; and the interventionist tactics of academia and social services which have, for instance promoted the idea that traditional Muslim families are inherently inferior to liberal humanist families.